Helping Kids Navigate Grief: What Every Parent Should Know

Grief can feel overwhelming, but no one has to navigate it alone.

Grief is never easy, especially when it comes to children. As adults, we often wish we could shield kids from loss, but the reality is that grief is a part of life. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, a family separation, or even the loss of a pet, children experience grief in their own unique way—one that looks very different from how adults process loss.

At Reach Counseling, we work with families to help children and teens navigate grief in a way that makes sense for their developmental stage. This guide will help you understand what grief can look like at different ages, how to talk to your child about loss, and what common misconceptions might be holding them back from healing.

Grief Looks Different at Every Age

Children’s ability to understand and cope with grief depends on their developmental stage. Their emotions may come in waves, or they may express grief in ways that don’t look like sadness at all.

Preschoolers (Ages 3-5): “Will They Come Back?”

• Understanding of Death: Young children often see death as temporary or reversible, much like in cartoons. They may ask when the person or pet is coming back.

• Common Reactions: Regression (bedwetting, clinginess), magical thinking (“If I’m good, they’ll come back”), play reenactments of the loss.

• How to Support: Use simple, concrete language: “Grandpa’s body stopped working, and he won’t be coming back, but we can always remember him.” Avoid phrases like “gone to sleep” to prevent fear of bedtime.

Young Children (Ages 6-9): “Did I Cause This?”

• Understanding of Death: Beginning to grasp that death is permanent but may not fully understand why it happens.

• Common Reactions: Anxiety, guilt (“Did I do something to make this happen?”), acting out in frustration, trouble focusing at school.

• How to Support: Reassure them that the loss was not their fault. Keep routines as normal as possible, and encourage expression through play, drawing, or storytelling.

Tweens (Ages 10-12): “Why Did This Happen?”

• Understanding of Death: They recognize death as final and may start asking deeper, existential questions about fairness and life.

• Common Reactions: Mood swings, withdrawal, acting “fine” to fit in, fear of future losses, or needing extra reassurance.

• How to Support: Create space for their emotions without pushing. Normalize that grief can show up in different ways and encourage conversations when they’re ready.

Teens (Ages 13-18): “How Do I Live With This?”

• Understanding of Death: Fully comprehend death but may struggle with overwhelming emotions, existential thoughts, or trying to grieve privately.

• Common Reactions: Acting out, emotional numbness, deep sadness, avoiding discussions, or taking on more responsibilities than expected.

• How to Support: Validate their feelings without forcing conversations. Offer therapy, journaling, or peer support to help them process in their own time.

Research Insight: Studies show that children process grief cyclically—they revisit the loss as they grow, making it important to keep conversations open over time (Worden, 1996).

We support children, teens, and families as they navigate loss with care and compassion. 

How to Talk to Kids About Death, Loss, and Separation

Talking about grief is hard, but avoiding the conversation can lead to confusion or anxiety. Here are some best practices to guide you:

Use Clear, Simple Language

Instead of: “Grandma went to sleep”

Say: “Grandma’s body stopped working, and she died. That means we won’t see her anymore, but we can always love and remember her.”

Why? Vague language can cause fear and misunderstandings, especially in young kids who might develop bedtime anxieties if they hear “went to sleep.”

Answer Their Questions Honestly (Even the Hard Ones)

Kids will ask questions like “Where did they go?” or “Are you going to die too?” It’s okay to admit when you don’t have all the answers.

Try: “I don’t know all the answers, but I do know that I will always love and take care of you.”

Why? Avoiding tough topics can make kids feel more anxious or unsupported.

Encourage Expression Through Play or Creativity

Children may not always talk about grief, but they might act it out in their play or art. Encourage storytelling, memory boxes, or drawing feelings.

Why? Research shows that creative expression helps children process loss in a non-threatening way (Schoenfeld & Berg, 2001).

Acknowledge All Kinds of Losses

Grief isn’t just about death. Divorce, moving, changing schools, or losing a pet can also trigger deep emotions in kids. Treat all forms of grief with care and validation.

Common Myths About Childhood Grief (And The Truth!)

Myth: “Kids are too young to grieve.”

Truth: Children experience grief at every age, even if they can’t fully articulate it. Their behavior often reflects their grief.

Myth: “If they’re not crying, they’re fine.”

Truth: Many children grieve in waves. They might laugh one moment and be sad the next. That’s normal.

Myth: “They won’t remember this loss later.”

Truth: Even if they don’t remember details, grief shapes a child’s emotions and attachment. They may need ongoing support as they grow.

Research Insight: Unprocessed childhood grief can lead to higher risks of anxiety, depression, and academic struggles later in life (Stroebe & Schut, 2010).

How You Can Support Your Grieving Child

♡ Keep routines as normal as possible—predictability helps kids feel safe.

♡ Model healthy grief—it’s okay to show your emotions and let them see that grief is natural.

♡ Encourage open-ended conversations—don’t force discussions, but let them know you’re available.

♡ Provide books and resources—stories about loss can help kids make sense of their feelings.

♡ Seek professional support if needed—if grief is affecting daily life, therapy can provide tools for healing.

Resources for Families Supporting a Grieving Child

There are many wonderful books, websites, and activities designed to help children and families process loss in a healthy way.

📚 Books About Grief

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst – A comforting story about staying connected to loved ones, even after loss.

Ida, Always by Caron Levis – A beautifully written book that helps children understand grief and saying goodbye.

Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert – A great book for all ages that explains grief in a gentle, validating way.

When Someone Very Special Dies by Marge Heegaard – An interactive workbook to help children express their emotions.

You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After Loss by Lynne Hughes – A powerful resource for adolescents coping with grief.

🌐 Trusted Websites

The Dougy Center – A leading resource for childhood grief, offering free guides and family activities.

National Alliance for Children’s Grief – Provides grief support resources, activities, and educational tools.

Sesame Street in Communities: Grief – Interactive resources, videos, and activities tailored for younger children.

🎨 Healing Activities

Memory Box – Have your child decorate a small box and fill it with mementos, letters, or photos of their loved one.

Feelings Collage – Using magazines, colored paper, or drawings, help them create a visual representation of their emotions.

Letter Writing – Encourage kids to write a letter to their lost loved one as a way of expressing what they miss and remember.

Grief Journaling – Older kids and teens may benefit from journaling about their emotions, memories, and questions about loss.

Local Community Support: The WARM Place

A dedicated grief support center for children and their families, The WARM Place provides a safe environment for expressing feelings and connecting with others who have experienced loss. They offer peer support groups tailored to different age groups. 

Location: 809 Lipscomb Street, Fort Worth, TX 76104

Contact: (817) 870-2272

Website: thewarmplace.org

Grief is easier to carry when we don’t carry it alone.

Final Thoughts: Grief is a Journey, Not a One-Time Event

Grieving is not about “moving on”—it’s about learning to carry love and memories forward. Children don’t need to “get over” a loss; they need to feel safe, supported, and heard as they move through their emotions.

At Reach Counseling, we specialize in helping kids, teens, and families navigate grief with age-appropriate tools and emotional support. By providing safe spaces, open conversations, and supportive resources, you’re helping them build resilience and find meaning in their loss. If you’re worried about how your child is processing loss, we’re here to help.

💛 Your child’s grief matters. Their healing journey starts with feeling understood. 💛

📞 Reach out today to learn how we can support your family. 

References: 

Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (2010). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: A decade later. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying.

Worden, J. W. (1996). Children and grief: When a parent dies. The Guilford Press.

Schoenfeld, N. A., & Berg, B. A. (2001). Creative interventions in grief and loss therapy. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health.